The Medicine I AM

The medicine I am.

The medicine I am

The medicine I am.

The medicine I am.

Sometimes I need to remind myself of my own medicine, my own gift, my own strength and my own inner fire.

I say "own" very lightly.

I acknowledge I am co creator of my life.

But I exist, I am here because the Creator of the whole universe made it so. There is no greater love.

The past week I was tackling two things.

Completing my taxes and completing my application for Masters of Arts in Counselling Psychology.

Tax time for me is a bit of stress because I am a small business owner so getting all my records in order can feel a little overwhelming.

This is also is a time of reflection of what I have done in the past year with my business.

One of the things I am most proud of last year was developing a guide of self love from my Indigenous perspective: The Medicine You Are.

The message I hope to bring to Creator's world is one of healing through self love, self acceptance, self reflection and holistic health.

I had to really connect with my own self love this week.

My limiting beliefs came out to play last week! Actually the last couple of weeks, it's been a battle.

One definition of a limiting belief I can relate to :

"One judgement you believe about yourself that restricts you in some way".

I cut my hair on the last full moon. One of the reasons why I did this was symbolic for me.

Letting go.

New growth.

New beginning.

I knew I was restricting myself in many ways.

The thoughts needed to go...

"You are not good enough".

"I am not worthy".

"I am not ready".

For me, in order to let them go is I needed to visit my own story. Particularly my childhood story.

Now pair this with working on my application for MACP - visiting my story & trauma.

The temptation to give up on this application was real.

I thought about when I did my undergrad degree & how poor I was. And how it took me forever to pay back my student loan. I loathed at the thought of going back to that place! Not really accounting for the skills, the determination & the resources I currently have to pay for this degree.

I thought there are already so many counsellors already. How could I possibly make a difference?

And yes, I even thought I might not be smart enough. When I was taking my undergrad degree, I was in survival mode and honestly I was happy with the bare minimum-just passing grades.

I had good healing conversations & safe people who I could express out loud what I was feeling (and fearing) on the inside. That helped tremendously.

But it is was my own self love practices.

It was my own self talk.

It was my own courage.

It was my own faith in Creator's purpose...

that caused me to take a leap into this new chapter.

I have been contemplating many many years about furthering my education.

Timing is everything & Creator is always on time.

The one pivotal point was in March this year when I was at a women's conference and a young young young girl (oh she was so young!) was on stage & shared her pain-her story of sexual abuse.

My story.

I knew right then I needed the proper skills, knowledge and education to walk with others who share this pain & this trauma.

So I affirm again and again:

The medicine I am.

The medicine I am.

The medicine I am.

The medicine I am.